What goes better with playing video games than poisoning the environment for future generations? Perhaps melting the polar icecaps? Clubbing baby seals? Okay, that last one went a bit far.
Still, the point is that video games can be very bad for the environment. Take the following five games for instance. Each is addictive to the point of chugging electricity where other games only sip. Ban these five games, and the environment will thank you.
World of Warcraft
If you’re going to blame one game, you might as well go after the king. With over ten million subscribers, most logging in daily, World of Warcraft is the leader in carbon footprints. Add into this the fact that sitting for hours in front of your computer screen will likely lead to obesity, which in turn leads to a need for more air conditioning during the summer months, and you have a perfect storm brewing.
Call of Duty 4
While the Call of Duty franchise has always been popular, it wasn’t until the latest entry in the series that the online aspect really took off. Call of Duty 4 is crack for those who get into it online, and asbestos for the environment. Of course, there’s a joke to be made there, and you feel welcomed to fill it in.
Halo 3
The once mighty leader of console online may be down, but it is far from dead. It still packs one of the largest online presences of any game and that is likely to only increase with the release of the new Legendary Map Pack. Plus, you can tell Bungie is already trying to soften up gamers to the glacier-less future. Have you ever seen the earth look as ugly as it does in this game? By the way, the jungle levels take place in…Greenland!
Wii Sports
Before this environmental plague hit the world only nerds and recovering nerds played video games. Now mom, grandma, and that creepy guy down the street who is always inviting kids into his house all own a Wii. Why? Wii Sports, of course. Less electronics in the world means a greener world, and Wii Sports is the antithesis of help in this case.
Bejeweled
Remember when your cell phone only held telephone numbers? Thanks to this little hater of the environment now millions of people have a reason to take out their cell phone and play with it when bored. More cell phone use means the batteries drain faster. Drained batteries means more charging, and of course that means more burning up of the environment. This is, of course, assuming you don’t have one of those solar backpacks that charges your cell phone. Which, of course, you do not because you’re cheap.
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April 22nd, 2008 at 8:49 am
Wow, a surprisingly well researched and written article… right.
Lets expand our view of games past video games for just a minute and I think you’ll agree that a single Nascar race will generate more pollution, what with its thousands of spectators driving to and from the track, burning charcoal or natural gas before-hand to consume large amounts of meat, and, oh yeah, THE MAIN EVENT BEING DRIVING and I think you might realize that simply listing a bunch of popular computer games doesn’t amount to a list that kills the environment.
April 22nd, 2008 at 8:59 am
Wow this is sort of lame, and if playing games means killing the environment then Im going to lead the attack on mother earth
May 3rd, 2008 at 9:13 am
If this is not a parody, you have contributed to the damage on environmentalists’ image and credibility with this over the top article. Why are you even using a computer to write this? Give your computer to an poor nerd: “every little bit helps the environment”, right?
Why stop at video games? No more vehicles of any kind (even ships that import and export goods). Outlaw electricity: besides the pollution in when created, think of all the birds and insects accidentally killed. Lets be doubly effective, and eliminate medical care of any kind. In implementation or development they are not eco-friendly, but even better is that no medicine means less earth killing humans.
Lets not be wusses; no holding back for mother earth. Humans destroy the earth, so lets just kill ourselves for mother earth’s sake… You go first.
Seriously. Reduce, reuse, and recycle. Whenever you can do something good for the earth (or even others, *gasp*) without causing problems for yourself, then do it. If everyone did that little tiny bit the world in many ways would suck(be lousy) much less.
August 11th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
WHHAACCKKK what a waste of your time
October 5th, 2008 at 3:17 am
Ummm… who seriously cares?